Cringe.

I mentioned how cringe I found Randal babbling on about The Mandalorian while going into surgery in my Clerks post. I want to talk about another cringe item that I just didn’t feel comfortable talking about when my blog was public.

Two things happened in October that made me stop and go “Hmm.” The first was the release of the McDonald’s Boo Pails. Watching my IG and a retro group I am part of light up with dozens of pictures of grown people buying children’s happy meals made me stop and question why? Like seriously… why are we doing this. It’s beyond ridiculous. A company is dragging out the past in hopes of making something go viral and increase sales. So, even if you leave out the whole “corporate manipulation” aspect, these are still grown ups buying children meals to collect plastic toys they wont ever use to go trick or treating.

Then came the retro group. God… I really like the folks there. They are some great bloggers and some folks I’ve followed for years. But they are very much a reflection of myself. Digging through ebay or thrift stores, trying to find some rare element from their past. I’ve spent pretty much entire adult like doing this. DVDs, CDs, board games, toys, etc. It’s like retro archaeology. I’m just trying to find some piece of the past to display.

As I watched others do it, I realized it was well… pathetic. It was almost like seeing a mental illness unfold. Unprocessed parts of life had stunted growth and now we are all grouped up to share and discuss those parts.

I wasted a good portion of my life trying to be the people I was chatting with, popular bloggers with a following. Podcasters and YouTubers chatting about some part of history that is no longer admired. And when I was forced to face what I wanted to become, I realized I really didn’t. I wasn’t interested in that at all.

My IG reinforced that even further. I had followed tons of retro folks while trying to drum up support for our site and the posts I saw mostly just made me cringe. There was even a guy with a basement decked out totally in old stuff. Things like a Blockbuster drop box and a Toys R Us letter. At one point this was a dream, but now it just seemed like a terrible waste of money.

Have I changed? Did I mature? Did I grow up? Or did I finally see what I had become and not like it? I mean, I’m not saying I won’t still enjoy some of the fandoms and throwbacks, I’m just thinking this weird obsession and going to great lengths to recreate or relive parts of it has got to stop. I need to spend my time in better ways.

Cringe.

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