Well, Christmas 2022 is over. It ended fifty-six minutes ago, and while it was a very different Christmas, it was relaxing.
Brandy and I stayed home. She cooked up all sorts of goodies (Breakfast casserole, roasted duck, home made chicken tenders, grilled chicken tacos, etc.) and we both watched TV, talked a bit, and played video games. After three days of it, I’m ready to get out of the house for a bit, but it was a nice alternative to the usual family carousel of chaos, especially after the disappointing experience last year.
Brandy put alot of time and effort into dinner just to see all her help vanish. Then when it came time to the meal, no one really had anything nice to say. It was disappointing and hurtful, and I’m glad not to relive that this year.
Paul gave us both a check, which made for some awkwardness still. I had to tell some white lies to some family to spare their feelings, which I’m not thrilled about, but in the scheme of things it was for the best.
In my attempt to simplify life, I’ve still found myself trapped in the same predicament that I usually find myself: who should I be? Should I be the alpha male who gets things done or should be I be the lazy slacker who watches TV? I bounce between worlds and I guess don’t feel all that comfortable in either one. But, the more I lean into the philosophical/spiritual the more I feel at home. I really need to embrace this part of me more.
I have two more days off left before I must return to work and I don’t have a ton to do. I guess, I hope to exercise a bit, meditate a bit, and relax a bit. I want to go into 2023 excited about the future and maybe, a bit more compassionate and level headed.